This is one of those blog posts that I have been thinking about for a while and am just sitting down to write. It stems from a deep contentment in this season of life and is stirred up by a strange "everyone tries to look awesome on the internet" frustration. As I read other people's blogs (strangers and friends) I often wonder about some of these things that I am about to write, and so I thought I would share.
Just a note: Before you read on, you need to hear that I totally believe the Lord leads people into different places and seasons of life. I do not think that I am "right" or "more right" than the next person in any of these details. This is simply a confession of sorts to say, "this is me" with no pretense, just honest to goodness, me...so here goes...
So I will start with some random facts and give some details later:
I live in a 1700 square foot house- 3 bedrooms 2 baths
I drive a 2004 car
I have two big dogs
I don't work out and don't really like to.
There are some amazing Godly girls (about 10 years younger than me) that are such treasures to my life, words don't even describe. I learn from them, grow with them, am served by them, and try to point them to Jesus over and over. They are family to us. They are steadily in our home at least a few times a week.
I like coffee
I highlight my hair
I plan on homeschooling all of our kids
I have tattoos and my nose is pierced
I eat at chic-fil-a often
I love to read christian-non fiction books...a lot
I am a part of a little house church.Brian leads it with the other men in the group. We do "life" together in a unique way and have experienced Jesus in real ways. We share meals, know each-other's garage codes, really know eachother's "junk", love eachother anyway,etc.
I like healthy food and chocolate
My mom is one of my all time favorite people
I am a part of a ministry that is called Jesus Said Love. I interact with girls that are in this city's "sex industry" and get to tell them how precious they are to the Lord. I love it.
I absolutely love being married to Brian
I like shopping at Target and TJ Maxx
I love my children like crazy...I really think they are the sweetest, funniest, entertaining people ever.
My body has changed since children and I am really ok with that.
I don't like movies and the only TV I really watch is Biggest Loser
I get pedicures regularly
I have lots of vision for dance
I am totally awkward in front of a camera
I wake up slowly
I love people...I love people's stories
I have been following Jesus since 1998. He is my best friend, redeemer, father and counselor. The more I get to know Him, the more I love Him.
I really want to live with a generational view and I think about this a few times a day.
I feel spoiled most of the time
Every day I have at least one thought like "Woo hoo- I love this life!" And every day I take a deep breath and think "I am exhausted!"
**We live in a 1700 square foot house- 3 bedrooms 2 baths.It is simple and peaceful. We bought it as a foreclosure. We used to have a pool and then about 3 years ago filled it in. Now our two big dogs (that used to be inside dogs, but love their outside domain) totally mess up our backyard daily and they
wag their tails happily every single time we open the back door.
Our home has a history of the Lord's interactions with us and with our friends and family. I can look at my living room and remember visual pictures of when the Lord physically healed people that we love, or when marriages were mended, or when girl's were set free from addictions and depression, or where Brian and I were prayed for, or where hands were lifted in surrender during tragedy and suffering, or where confession has erupted, or where genuine worship has broken out, or where dance parties have been enjoyed, or game nights have taken place, or babies were rocked, or where prayer meetings have gone on and on for trafficked and abused girls, or where tents and tea parties have been set up...I am in tears recalling the Lord's nearness throughout the past 7 years in this house. It is not anything fancy. Most of our furniture has been handed down from my mom and Mike.
One of the most fun things about our home is where it is located. We have friends/family/community surrounding us. Literally. Some friends bought the house next door to us a couple of years ago, two other families bought the house across the street and the house '180 steps away' last month. Our backyard has a gate that opens up to our backyard neighbor's house who are now close friends with. Seriosuly, we LOVE it.
I absolutely love being married to Brian. He inspires me. He challenges me. He loves me in ways that I have never known a person could love. He leads me in many ways, but he is clearly a servant leader. Jesus was a servant leader too. I like Brian a lot. He is fun, gentle, commanding, honest, humble, competitive and an incredibly great father. I couldn't imagine being married to a more perfect man for me. Seriously. He is clearly not perfect and he would be the first person to tell you that, but that's another thing I love about him. He isn't puffed up trying to prove himself to anyone. He is just Brian. He loves me so well. He loves our children so well. He loves our church so well. He loves the young girls in our lives that are aunts to our children. He deeply cares and desires Jesus above all things. Really. Oh, and I think he is a hottie too :)
That's all for now. How's that for processing this season of life out lout in a blog?!
Kiva is so much crazy fun. I wish I could pause her at this stage and enjoy her even longer. I can't stand the thought of forgetting some of the things she is saying and doing...so for my sake, I simply must write them down:
Kiva says "that's my favorite" to just about anything. "Kiva, do you want waffles or toast this morning?" and her response "waffles, that's my favorite." "What kind of panties to do you want to wear today?" and her response "dora (or princess or hello kitty), that's my favorite." What color do you want to paint your nails? and her response for one hand "red, that's my favorite." on the other hand "blue, that's my favorite"
She says "Me do it, mommy" or "Me do it, Jada." Or "no me want to go night- night"
She gets so excited telling stories that she can hardly get a word out. She holds her breath and says "um, um, um..." and then begins. At the end she usually raises her shoulders, smiles and exhales a big breath :)
When she wants me to pick her up she says "Up-ie Mommy"
when she thinks something is funny she literally claps, throws her head back and slaps her knee.
She is super affectionate. If any of us leave, she runs (and she is a super fast runner by the way,) says "hug kiss" and squeezes and kisses. She often will kiss my hand multiple times when I am putting her to bed. I love it.