So...these are my thoughts and what this season has been:
I'm learning more about my own weaknesses. I just can't do it all. I am so grateful for the community of people that God has so lovingly placed in our lives. Family, church community, families and friends in our city, faithful friends placed all over the map...all of these people have so deeply added to me as a girl. Yes, as a wife, mom, leader, learner...but mainly just for me. Steph. Simply me with no titles or jobs...just the spirit within me.
Anyway...here are some bullets about what I have been doing and learning over these past months:
- I'm planning a community wide women's conference! Crazy. The Lord gave me a specific and clear direction last January 2013. Since then, it's been taking shape with a team of outstanding women leaders from all over BCS. It is exciting and a very precious thing to steward. I am excited and steadily grateful for the wise women around me.
- Our church is a small group of people that are very large in the Spirit. They love God extravagantly and love me deeply. I love running alongside and bringing God's kingdom to earth with these people.
- I am homeschooling...and loving it. And I am not sure I am good at it yet, but I see our children learning and laughing and loving eachother well in the midst of our school times. So, I trust Jesus with the outcome and am grateful to have the honor to be their teacher (and ask for mercy and wisdom often!)
- I'm learning more about personal daily communion. God has healed my body through it and strengthened me in the gospel.
- I hunger and thirst for more of the Spirit of God...and I love the people that God has brought into my life that keep me seeing more of God in powerful ways. There is just no end to knowing the fullness of God...it's such a full and fun life of faith we get to live!
- I'm learning that there is no sense in being afraid of anything. Fear is a spirit that I want nothing to do with. It's empowering to be free from fear and fully convinced of the love of God. I have made a daily practice of taking in and receiving the Holy Spirit that has given me power, love and a sound mind. I am so grateful. Simply confessing my offenses, my lack of faith and my weaknesses as they come up releases so much freedom from fear.
- Our kids are cool. I'm convinced that Jada could be a 'Disney' character. She is often found in the clouds dreaming about all things wonderful and lovely. She is beautiful both inside and out and she easily believes the best about everyone. I'm pretty sure if the scene in Cinderella with the birds and animals singing and helping Cinderella could ever actually happen, it would happen to Jada and she would just giggle and enjoy it! Her voice is angelic as she sings and she is a precious example of humility, grace and the joy of being a daughter. She is 7.
- Kiva is beautifully strong in stature and in spirit. She is brilliant and bold and has a sense of humor that breaks through any sort of mundane life. I am convinced she will change this world and lead many towards Jesus...utterly convinced. She will place her feet only where she is convinced they should go, and because of that conviction, many will follow in her footsteps. As of now, we are praying that she continues to learn humility and wisdom in a beautifully submitted heart to Jesus. She is 4.
- Judson is fully dude and fully content to be my baby. He snuggles with his head on my shoulder better than any of our kids have done. He finds cozy nooks over my big pregnant belly and insists that I sing and whisper all sorts of secrets to him in between songs. He laughs hard and obeys quickly. He is a servant and watches everything with a very acute eye. I believe he is a storehouse of deep thoughts and will love out of the deep reservoirs that are in him. He is 2
There it is...surely I will publish this and remember 20 more things that I have been learning and experiencing. But this is summary enough. I love this life that God has given me and I treasure this season in ways that are inexpressible through written language. As Kason moves around in my belly, I take a deep breath of gratitude and say goodnight.