might as well...

I am up late again with photo editing and what not...and I just had to show you some of the cutest pictures EVER...I set up studio lights the other day in hopes to get some example products for some upcoming dance studio pics I am doing...so of course we had Jada in her dance recital costume that didn't quite work out so well. She was too busy being goofy...but we did get some great ones of our Kiva bear!!! And this was Jada's token smile for our little picture taking event...didn't work out so well...but she sure is pretty :)

why is it so hard to receive?

I remember when Brian proposed to me...he gave me his proposal typed out (in true Brian Lee fashion) which included journal entries about him praying for me long before we ever dated. About a week after the actual proposal, after the whirlwind of excitement settled a bit, I decided to get the typed proposal out and read it. It was late in the evening and I was alone in my college house. As I began reading through his precious words and journal entries I was blown away with his great love, patience and absolute grace towards me...even while I was not His yet. In those moments my heart sank and my stomach felt like a 200 lb weight hit it...I literally fell down on the floor in fetal position leaning up against my wall. The only thing I could think was "I am not worthy of this man, Lord." I am pretty sure I actually said those words in between deep sobs of gratitude.

What did I experience in that moment? Grace...the gut wrenching kind that the sheer magnitude of the gift is too weighty for me to carry without falling to my knees in worship and gratitude! I had another moment like that today...

Over the past few weeks I have been busier that I have possibly ever been in my whole life. Seriously. I won't go into the details of all that, but wow, crazy. Anyway, today started with a senior photo shoot followed by all day photo editing. Brian was with the girls all day. He has been helping so much. When I arrived home I was surprised with an ultra clean house with the washer and dryer running! Wow. It was beyond a gift to me. After spending some sweet family time and dinner, I got Kiva ready for bed while Brian got Jada ready. I was feeding Kiva in her room listening to her sweet little noises and looking into her brilliantly blue eyes when I heard Brian begin playing his guitar in Jada's room. Worship songs began to play and sweet squeels from Jada were heard through the walls. There it was again...the moment of gut wrenching grace! What is this life that I am living? My heart sank and I was once again struck with the reality of my unworthiness of such a life and the vast grace of God poured out over me. And yet it's like I don't want to really look at it for fear of totally breaking down under the weight of God's love for me. And so, as I held my sweet bundle I just cried...not breaking down, just slow tears of gratitude....but I think it might be good for me to have a good cry soon...you know?

So I was thinking, we have really really all been given way too much...and when we look at that, it really requires a humility in the deep places...(deep breath and a sigh). I am again reminded of this verse 1 Timothy 1:14-17

"The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen."

There ya go...off for more photo editing and then maybe a good cry?

get ready...

...for lots of photos!!! But before that, how sweet is Brian?! I really cannot say how humbling it was for me to read his words...so thanks Brian! It was truly a very sweet and memorable birthday for me!
And here goes...

Grammy brought Kiva an Easter hat :) How fun is she?

their first matching outfits!!!

and in their matching outfits with the staple falling hug!

I totally liked this photo because of Jada's face! This is one of many sass 3 year old looks...

precious little Jada hands painting with Madyson on easter

Toby and Elli came to visit along with their mom, Steph, last week...this was popcorn and team umizoomi time. We had so much fun with them on their short visit!

another precious painting pic

Grammy with Kiva

easter egg hunt in the front yard with Madyson

we used bags instead of a basket so that the eggs didn't fall out as the hunt was going on :)

cutie girls

umm...is this ok? Jada thinks it is fun to get into Kiva's exersaucer

how fun is this with MiMi and PaPa?!sweet Madyson and Dawnand seriously how sweet is this?

Happy Birthday(s) Steph !!!- From Brian

Many of you know that Steph turned 32 today. It was a good day for her.

She started the day with getting to sleep in. Jada and I woke her up at about 9:00 with purple tulips (Jada's choice) and a Venti upside down caramel mocchiato (her preferred drink from Starbucks in case anyone wants to know).

All she asked for this year was new clothes so when we woke up we went to The Buckle and bought her two new pairs of jeans that she is excited about. She claims she has never had a pair of "really good jeans" (whatever that means) before so now she does and is kind of giddy about it. I must say she looks great in them.

We then met her parents and brother at a great Mexican food restaurant for lunch. After lunch we went over to her parent's house and spent the afternoon with her family. I then brought the girls back home and put them to sleep while she went shopping with her mom and bought more clothes. I think she acquired more new clothes today than at any other point in our marriage and, needless to say, she is pretty happy about that.

When she came home, she spent a couple of hours responding to very sweet messages and emails and talked to her good friend Kari from North Carolina. She is now in our room journaling and spending time with Jesus before we go to bed.


...What some of you don't know today not only marks Steph's 32nd birthday, it also marks her spiritual birthday.

It was twelve years ago, on Good Friday, that Steph was brought face to face with the reality of the Gospel. She was brought from death to life that night, and has been surrendered to Jesus in such a sweet and powerful way since that moment. God has done great things in her these past 12 years and so many kind and loving words from some many different people reflect what great things He has done in her.

I could include many of those thoughts and kind and honoring words in this post, but it would make a long post much, much longer. So I will just include some thoughts that I wrote to her:

Steph,

Happy Birthday my love! So today marks 32 years of God's Faithfulness to you. It is hard to believe that I have known you for 13 of those years....almost half of your life. Is that crazy or what?

I can not say enough how much I love you and how proud I am to be joined with you as one. I am so thankful that God gave me the "desire of my heart" in giving you to me as my wife 8 years ago. I have truly tasted the goodness of God in knowing you and being known by you and I am looking forward to continuing that journey as we grow old together.

This last year has been a really sweet one for you. The dreaded pregnancy after Mia that went so smooth without any issues, the birth of our sweet Kiva and the beginning of God restoring what was taken away, the year that Jada transitioned from being a toddler to becoming "a little girl", the discovery of the great purpose God has created you for and called you to, and beginning to walk in that purpose in a deeper way as God has provided a way through speaking engagements and through Talitha. Yes, your 31st year was really a beautiful one and I am convinced that you accomplished in one year, what many do not get to in a lifetime. I am so, so proud of you, and I am grateful to have had the privilege to be by your side and walk through all of those things with you. Last year was a really beautiful year wasn't it?

I do hope and pray that this year Jesus continues to open doors for you and continues to grow you in wisdom, stature, and favor in the sight of God and man. I am really looking forward to this year with you and with our girls. I rejoice in the life God has given us and am eager to see all the ways He will guide us and bless us this next year.

I love you so much and I am so thankful that I get to share this life with you.


Grateful to be your husband and to be crowned by you,

Brian


SO HAPPY 32nd BIRTHDAY !!!

AND

HAPPY SPIRITUAL BIRTHDAY !!!


You are worthy of honor today.