Is that....? How long have you had that? What does it say?

It's been a long time comin'...this blog, I mean. I was debating at the beginning if I should write a blog about it, but now I think the time has come...so here goes!

This past weekend we remembered our sweet Mia. 2 years ago is when she went to be with Jesus and we have missed her every day since. It was a good time that our family spent at her grave. We released 4 pink balloons (for each one of us), Brian read his letter from her funeral and our sweet friends brought flowers, painted a beautiful fountain canvas, made a handkerchief, and did some super precious scripture stuff to honor her and remember her. My mom and Mike brought a sweet wind chime as well. It was a good time of that strange tension of loving every minute that I have with my family here and wishing Jesus would come back right then because death still effects us. So...in light of this weekend, I thought it was an appropriate time to share about this news... I have a tattoo on each wrist! One of them is white and the other is light blue and black. Here are their stories:

I got the white one first.

...you can hardly see it, but it reads "hope." It is written on my wrist in the place where I could see it when I hold babies. Brian and I went and got this on my wrist about a month after we lost Mia. I wanted it to look like a scar of hope. It does. And I am so grateful that during that time of great loss, I was able to hope because of Christ...He really defeated death once and for all and gave me a reason to HOPE. And throughout my pregnancy with Kiva I enjoyed this tattoo a lot and I just plain like it :) And something else that is super special to me... My mom and my sister in law got a white tattoo shortly after. I love that we have that in common! It means even more that way.

Now for the darker tattoo:

It says "talitha" with a little blue bird.

The word Talitha is taken from Mark 5:41 "Taking the child by the hand, He said to her, "Talitha kum!" (which translated means, "Little girl, I say to you, get up!"). Immediately the girl got up..." Other translations say Daughter in the place of little girl. You get the word's definition right? The origin is believed to be Aramaic. Jesus said it.

And the blue bird...to me it is a symbol of life and freedom. Many places a blue bird symbolizes satisfaction, joy and fullness of life.

Now that you have the facts, here is the story behind the Talitha and Bluebird tat :) It is a rather deep and emotional story...just a warning. Shortly after we lost Mia I was sitting at the cemetery weeping over having lost my daughter. I was listening to the Jason Upton song that says "Come up here, come up now...my beloved, my beloved." I was listening to it in a fresh way as though Jesus said those words to precious Mia in my womb...I knew He loved her dearly and had called for her to come be with Him. It was one of those super emotional weepy moments. It was good. Anyway, I said to the Lord outloud "Why did you have to take my daughter? There are lots of daughters, why mine?"... and it was as if the Lord answered me right back "this is what you are created for...to bring daughters to me." Immediately, I knew that the meaning behind this was to spiritually bring him women, young women, and old women and little girls...HIS daughters...daughters that He wants to live with Him forever...to lead them, to guide them, to show them who Jesus is. I knew this was real and I began weeping more and through my tears I said "OK...I will." It was a terrible/beautiful moment mixed with grief, vision and purpose.

So...do you get the word TALITHA in that? Little girl or daughter. It is part of me now. Evidently this is true with Jada and Kiva and any other daughters we may have. But also I have had this in the forefront of my mind every time I am asked to speak anywhere...to college students, moms, women, small group, each girl/woman that walks into my home...etc. I want to be an arrow to Jesus. ALSO...it has given me much rest AS HIS DAUGHTER...safely resting in His love for me and His really good sovereign plan for all of my days.

The bluebird...when I was pregnant with Mia (her full name Mia Carolyn...meant "who is like the Lord...the FREE one." I would often say "I think she is going to teach me to be free." That is why the bluebird is there...and this weekend I realized once again that Mia has taught me to be free in so many ways already. Praise Jesus.

And another sweet thing is that the actual tattoo is in Lucretia's handwriting (an older woman/friend who has shown me what it looks like to be a daughter of the Lord in beautiful ways.) And Ashley B. found the pic of the bluebird for me (a beautiful example of a younger woman who has faithfully looked to Jesus as a trusting daughter.)

So...now if you see me you don't have to wonder what that is, what it says or think "oh my goodness is that a tattoo under her watch???" Yes, it is...and now you know why it means a lot to me :) Feel free to talk about it or ask about it anytime!

Onto some other news...the mouse came back...SICK. It was just so frustrating to me. So, last night after our small group meeting Brian, Will and Eli set up 10...count-em TEN mouse traps to catch this pest.

Some serious amo huh?

This is the team of mean, strong, mice fighting fellas...don't they look tough...if I were a mouse, I would be afraid!

I mean...if you've ever wondered what super-hero muscles look like...now you know!
Moral of the story...there was a snap that was heard in our home around 1 am...see ya mousie! YAY for Brian, Eli and Will!