Kiv...

There are countless moments that I want to etch in my brain forever.  Lately, Kiva has been the author of many of those moments.  From her using the words "actually" and "no me like (fill in the blank)..."  and "do it tike that..."  She is just so precious.  Today is a day that we will probably recount many years from now.  It's something that Jada hasn't done before...so this is new. 

Kiva cut her own hair. 

This type of thing happens a lot with girls...but Jada is just such a safe rule follower that it just hasn't been on our scene.  Today Kiva had sticky stuff in her hair.  Kiva is independent and loves to do things by herself.  She loves it.  So...little did I know, Kiva wasn't playing with her baby dolls in the other room like I assumed...she was taking care of her sticky hair all by herself. 

The cut wasn't drastic.  In fact, she came back in the room and I didn't even notice.  But when I went into my bathroom to get ready for the day...there her long beautiful curly blonde locks lay in the trash can. 
Me: "Kiv, come here please.  What is that? (pointing to her hair)"
Kiv: "I don't know"
Me:  "Kiv, that's your hair.  How did it get there?"
Kiv: "I don't know" (with slightly more shoulder shrugs)
Me: "Kiv, your lying.  You need to tell me what really happened."
Kiv: "I don't know" (looking everywhere but at me)

This went on and on with spankings in between.  I kept reminding her that she wasn't getting spanked for cutting her hair, but because she was lying and not telling mommy what really happened.  FINALLY, she broke and told the truth.  I embraced her and she cried.  I told her how glad I was that she finally told me the truth.  I told her that she sinned against God and that after she talks to him about it that she needs to apologize to me.  She did...and it was one of the most precious moments as a mommy yet.  We were near and there was a genuineness to her hug afterwards that I wanted to breathe in. 

Meanwhile...to brag a little on Jada...she totally took care of Judson.  Played with him.  Carried him outside to play, blew bubbles, colored with him and was sensitive to Kiva's privacy in the moment.  Really, it was precious.  I got to talk with Jada about how proud I was of her. 

So, today...well, it was crazy and chaotic in many ways, but I think I'll remember it (at least I hope so...hence the blog!)

I dearly love these kids.  What a gift motherhood is.  What moments I daily have with these souls that hunger for truth and love learning what life is about.  Oh how I NEED the Lord and daily depend on Him to help me show them the Way.  A gift indeed. 

Sweet Faces

the sweetest little man I've ever known

As I write this...one year ago in this moment, I wasn't even in labor yet with you...and when we wake up in the morning, you will officially be ONE! 

Judson, you have stolen my heart.  Your smile is sincere and your eyes tell your story of contentment and joy.  You are a snuggle-bug and you absolutely love being a baby...being held, kissed, and carried along.  Your favorite place is somehow touching me (whether in my lap, next to me, in the bjorn, or on my hip.)  Your laugh is loud and you squeel with delight in anticipation of kisses and tickles. 

I love your curls and I love the way you hug me back.  I love your eyes when you first wake up and I love the way you hunch over as if you were saying, "hold me!'   I love that when I sing, you dance (while sitting of course)...You just can't help yourself. 

Already, I have learned more about the Father heart of God because of your life.  I have experienced restoration in new ways, I have held my hands open afresh, and I have been reminded to bow low, to be still and to worship...all through this year of your life on earth.  The sweetest place for me is holding you in the brown glider in your room; The Lord has made a habit of restoring me and giving me fresh peace in this place, all while you eat and drift off to sleep. 

I say often "I've never known a sweeter baby boy..." and "You are the nicest little man I have ever met." Judson, Happy Birthday.  My precious son, I love you and I am so thankful to be your mom.

What you really want to see...

Photos...that's more fun than words most of the time :)

Our little man is turning 1 in a couple weeks!  Can you believe how precious and big he is getting! 

We went to Galveston with some of our favorite friends, The Menn's! 

 

this is me...

This is one of those blog posts that I have been thinking about for a while and am just sitting down to write.  It stems from a deep contentment in this season of life and is stirred up by a strange "everyone tries to look awesome on the internet" frustration.  As I read other people's blogs (strangers and friends) I often wonder about some of these things that I am about to write, and so I thought I would share. 
    Just a note: Before you read on, you need to hear that I totally believe the Lord leads people into different places and seasons of life.  I do not think that I am "right" or "more right" than the next person in any of these details.  This is simply a confession of sorts to say, "this is me" with no pretense, just honest to goodness, me...so here goes...

So I will start with some random facts and give some details later:

• I live in a 1700 square foot house- 3 bedrooms 2 baths 
• I drive a 2004 car
• I have two big dogs
• I don't work out and don't really like to. 
• There are some amazing Godly girls (about 10 years younger than me) that are such treasures to my life, words don't even describe.  I learn from them, grow with them, am served by them, and try to point them to Jesus over and over.  They are family to us.  They are steadily in our home at least a few times a week.
• I like coffee
• I highlight my hair
• I plan on homeschooling all of our kids
• I have tattoos and my nose is pierced
• I eat at chic-fil-a often
• I love to read christian-non fiction books...a lot
• I am a part of a little house church.  Brian leads it with the other men in the group.  We do "life" together in a unique way and have experienced Jesus in real ways.  We share meals, know each-other's garage codes, really know eachother's "junk", love eachother anyway,etc.  
• I like healthy food and chocolate
• My mom is one of my all time favorite people
• I am a part of a ministry that is called Jesus Said Love.  I interact with girls that are in this city's "sex industry" and get to tell them how precious they are to the Lord.  I love it.
• I absolutely love being married to Brian
• I like shopping at Target and TJ Maxx
• I love my children like crazy...I really think they are the sweetest, funniest, entertaining people ever.  
• My body has changed since children and I am really ok with that.
• I don't like movies and the only TV I really watch is Biggest Loser
• I get pedicures regularly
• I have lots of vision for dance
• I am totally awkward in front of a camera
• I wake up slowly
• I love people...I love people's stories
• I have been following Jesus since 1998.  He is my best friend, redeemer, father and counselor.  The more I get to know Him, the more I love Him.
• I really want to live with a generational view and I think about this a few times a day.
• I feel spoiled most of the time
• Every day I have at least one thought like "Woo hoo- I love this life!"  And every day I take a deep breath and think "I am exhausted!"

**We live in a 1700 square foot house- 3 bedrooms 2 baths.  It is simple and peaceful.  We bought it as a foreclosure.  We used to have a pool and then about 3 years ago filled it in.  Now our two big dogs (that used to be inside dogs, but love their outside domain) totally mess up our backyard daily and they wag their tails happily every single time we open the back door. 
    Our home has a history of the Lord's interactions with us and with our friends and family.  I can look at my living room and remember visual pictures of when the Lord physically healed people that we love, or when marriages were mended, or when girl's were set free from addictions and depression, or where Brian and I were prayed for, or where hands were lifted in surrender during tragedy and suffering, or where confession has erupted, or where genuine worship has broken out, or where dance parties have been enjoyed, or game nights have taken place, or babies were rocked, or where prayer meetings have gone on and on for trafficked and abused girls, or where tents and tea parties have been set up...I am in tears recalling the Lord's nearness throughout the past 7 years in this house. It is not anything fancy. Most of our furniture has been handed down from my mom and Mike.  
    One of the most fun things about our home is where it is located.  We have friends/family/community surrounding us.  Literally.  Some friends bought the house next door to us a couple of years ago,  two other families bought the house across the street and the house '180 steps away' last month.  Our backyard has a gate that opens up to our backyard neighbor's house who are now close friends with.  Seriosuly, we LOVE it. 

I absolutely love being married to Brian.  He inspires me.  He challenges me.  He loves me in ways that I have never known a person could love.  He leads me in many ways, but he is clearly a servant leader.  Jesus was a servant leader too.  I like Brian a lot.  He is fun, gentle, commanding, honest, humble, competitive and an incredibly great father.  I couldn't imagine being married to a more perfect man for me.  Seriously.  He is clearly not perfect and he would be the first person to tell you that, but that's another thing I love about him.  He isn't puffed up trying to prove himself to anyone.  He is just Brian.  He loves me so well.  He loves our children so well.  He loves our church so well.  He loves the young girls in our lives that are aunts to our children.  He deeply cares and desires Jesus above all things.  Really. Oh, and I think he is a hottie too :)

That's all for now.  How's that for processing this season of life out lout in a blog?! 

a few more...

Three more that are too good to forget:

• Raspberries to Kiva are "Raz Babies"
• Sesame sticks are "Sesame Street Sticks"
• As we potty train her two really funny quotes "my poo poo goes swimming" and after a screaming scare from Jada trying to help Kiva get on the potty Kiva said "me fell in the potty"

because I can't stand to forget this...

Kiva is so much crazy fun.  I wish I could pause her at this stage and enjoy her even longer.  I can't stand the thought of forgetting some of the things she is saying and doing...so for my sake, I simply must write them down:

• Kiva says "that's my favorite" to just about anything.  "Kiva, do you want waffles or toast this morning?"  and her response "waffles, that's my favorite."  "What kind of panties to do you want to wear today?" and her response "dora (or princess or hello kitty), that's my favorite."  What color do you want to paint your nails? and her response for one hand "red, that's my favorite." on the other hand "blue, that's my favorite"
• She says "Me do it, mommy" or "Me do it, Jada."  Or "no me want to go night- night"
• She gets so excited telling stories that she can hardly get a word out.  She holds her breath and says "um, um, um..." and then begins.  At the end she usually raises her shoulders, smiles and exhales a big breath :)
• When she wants me to pick her up she says "Up-ie Mommy"
• when she thinks something is funny she literally claps, throws her head back and slaps her knee.  
• She is super affectionate.  If any of us leave, she runs (and she is a super fast runner by the way,) says "hug kiss" and squeezes and kisses.  She often will kiss my hand multiple times when I am putting her to bed.  I love it.

A poem by C.T. Studd worth reading

I was reminded of this today...let it be Lord!

“Two little lines I heard one day,
Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart,
And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one,
Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet,
And stand before His Judgement seat;
Only one life,’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, the still small voice,
Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave,
And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, a few brief years,
Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill,
living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
When this bright world would tempt me sore,
When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way,
Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Give me Father, a purpose deep,
In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife,
Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Oh let my love with fervor burn,
And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone,
Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one,
Now let me say,”Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call,
I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;
Only one life,’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”

Perfect Love...

I will start with some photos from the recent past...I just finished taking photos of lots of dancers at 3 different dance studios!  It was exhausting to say the least, but I get to have a lot of sweet moments with hundreds of little girls in hopes to touch each one of them with God's love and kindness.  They are so precious.  But I am really glad it is done for the year :)  Before we took the photos, I needed to practice with the white background...so I have three in house models!  Here goes.

On another note...there are so many things swimming around in my mind that the Lord has been faithfully showing me.  He always puts His finger on specific themes that He is faithful to repeat.  Some themes that have been stirring in my heart lately are "Expectation" "Love" "Character" and "Giving yourself away".  I could take apart each one of these in detail, but for lack of time tonight I just thought I would add a quote and a link for any of you to read.  The link is to an out of print small book that my friend, Lucretia, just told me about.  I have been devouring it and already know that it will be one that I reread again and again once I am finished.  I hope you are encouraged...

"May the everlasting love that came from heaven to die and suffer and wrestle for our souls; may the everlasting love that can wrestle through the feebleness of human words to win souls entirely to Himself, come amongst us and take possession and make us wholly God’s!"

"Let us remember that. If we have been trying to learn the lesson, I think God will teach us more and more that love means giving; and giving all. We sometimes give a little, but not all. To give all—that is love! What did the Father do to the Son? He made Him heir of all things. The Father let Christ share in everything. God gave Him a seat in His Throne; He gave Him a place in the worship of the angels; by Him He created the world; He gave Him all His glory and all His love. "

Love Made Perfect by Andrew Murray

no words necessary...just sweet memories

more for me...

I wanted to post a quick quote that I stumbled upon tonight...I wanted to post it to encourage all of us in prayer, but it is honestly more for me... so I don't forget it!

"The greatest barrier to intercession is that we take ourselves so seriously and come to the conclusion that God is reserved with us; He is not.  God has to ignore things we take so seriously until our relationship to Him is exactly that of a child." Oswald Chambers

Matthew 18:3 "Become as little children"

some little dude pics...not a ballerina :)

I realized that there were not any Judson photos on the previous post...and I am proud of that.  I mean...I will not be dressing him in any ballerina attire at any point, so any of those post, you can count Judson out!  So...here are some manly pictures of him playing with a ball on the couch the other day...

dance examples...our beauties...

There is simply so much to say about all that is going on in our lives...and I am so overflowingly thankful (is overflowingly a word?)...Anyway...I am photographing dancers at the end of April and beginning of May...so I had to use some sweet models for some examples...how precious are these people?