You still on your toes?
To begin, Brian and I are SO happy about our daughter. Our prayers for her (before we knew it was a she :) have sounded a lot like "Lord, protect this baby...Lord, let this baby have a real unique call on his/her life...Lord, give this baby many, many days on this earth before being with you forever..."
So...our daughter's name has some significant meaning to us and a story behind that. Here goes:
Her first name is Kiva, pronounced "key-va" a Hebrew name which means "Protected by God"...we believe this has been prayed for, declared and believed by many about her. We believe that this protection will be a mark on her life throughout her days, not just in the womb but as she walks this earth. Of course, we have no idea what she will be like or the gifts God has given her...but we hope and believe that she will KNOW in her deepest places that God is for her and has/will protect her. This may make her bold, adventurous, a visionary...the possibilities are endless!
Her middle name has a story:
One day, a month or so after we lost Mia, I was about to leave the cemetery after spending some time there. I felt prompted to drive up to the older section that I had not seen before. As I was driving, the Upton song where he says over and over, "I know Victory, Victory is Yours...." was blasting in our Durango. I stopped by the older baby section. These babies lived for a day or two or some even up to a year...I was struck by one that was born the same year that I was ...1978. I was immediately struck by how that mother had grieved so many years ago. I wept a little while thinking about so many that had hurt in the same ways that I was. As the Upton song continued to play I couldn't help but be reminded of how then and now the Lord wins. He is NOT surprised by anything and how He will be glorified through suffering and joy....
I drove a little further into the old-old-old section of the cemetery...I got out of the car and left the door open still hearing the music continuing to play like a battle cry "I know Victory, Victory is Yours..."
Lots of odd shaped headstones stood before me, but I was drawn to a taller one that looked super old. When I approached it, the name read "Victorie Zak"....what? This person's name was "Victorie?" Literally I began crying and laughing at the same time out of a state of YES! The Lord was victorious then in the 1800's, now and forever! Death was truly swallowed up in VICTORY...Christ won 2000 years ago when he took death's sting away when He rose from the dead to give us all life, He won in the 1800's when "Victorie Zak" walked the earth, He is alive and winning people to him each moment today. He is Victorious! In that moment, in the absolute most obscure setting, I danced. I weep typing this. There was great freedom in that place. He really is the same yesterday, today and forever. When I shared this with Brian, we both agreed that if we have another daughter, we would really like give her this middle name...
So...her middle name? "Victorie"...We pray that her life would be the symbol of God's victory and goodness...and the endless other things that the word 'victory' might mean. So there you have it: Kiva Victorie Lee
On a bit of another note: Wednesday night during our small group singing time I was just so thankful to the Lord for the good report that we received that day: healthy little girl. My eyes were drawn to Mia's footprints that we have on our wall. I realized in a fresh way that if Mia were born in January into our family...we would not have been pregnant in February with Kiva. Please hear me right, I would love nothing more than to have our Mia here today...but the plans, sovereignty, knowledge and understanding of the Lord struck me deeply. Again, I said to the Lord, "I trust You."
Also, I took in the reality that those footprints on my wall represent a little girl who is free with Jesus now with no regret, remorse or envy. I really don't know how heaven works in relation to time...but I believe that Mia sees what is going on in our family and is really delighted about it and probably understands God's ways way better than any of us here.
Kiva has a unique purpose for her life that is totally separate than Jada's or Mia's and we are grateful and full of hope for our new little one. Thank you for rejoicing with us!
1 year ago